Wedding Ceremony

We all regard marriage as one of the most important events in one’s life since it marks the maturity of a person. Eastern countries in general and Vietnam in particular consider marriage the most memorable time since it happens once in one’s life only. That is why the wedding ceremony is carefully celebrated with special rituals. In Vietnam, the wedding ceremony has its own unique characteristics in comparison with that of Eastern countries, and especially with that of Western countries. In a Vietnamese wedding, especially of the Kinh people, the gift for the couple is an envelope with some money inside instead of a present like in Western wedding. For Vietnamese, wedding ceremony now has changed so much; however, its traditional values still remained. A common-seen wedding usually includes two main stages: “Le an hoi” (betrothal ceremony) and “Le cuoi” (wedding ceremony). Traditionally, wedding ceremony usually takes place at the groom and the bride’s houses. Nevertheless, recently, most of them are celebrated at restaurants, hotels since it is convenient and economical. Each ethnic group has its distinct rituals which may surely surprise you. Normally, the groom and his family will go to the bride’s home and bring her back to his home. However, for Ede people’s wedding, it is the bride and her family that decides all issues related to the marriage, and after the wedding; after that, the groom will stay at the bride’s house. This is because the Ede lives under matriarchy in which the woman plays the key role. If you have chance to visit the Ede (often live in the central of Vietnam), don’t miss a chance to take part in their wedding since it will leave you a deep impression. Similar to the Ede, the Thai also have unique wedding rituals. The groom has to experience a three-year-challenge period staying at the bride’s house before the wedding is celebrated. After living together in the bride’s house from one to eight years (or even more), the groom will be allowed to bring the bride to his house with a solemn ceremony. If you have time, try to visit Vietnam’s ethnic groups since you may have a clearer knowledge of their special rituals for marriage which reflect one among the most typical activities in Vietnam’s culture.

The Vietnamese Youth sometimes joke to each other that Wedding Ceremony is even much more important than a marriage certificate legally certified by in charge government agency. If you just get the marriage certificate, it means that you are legally married but your married status will not be aware of and not be certified by the community. For the Western lifestyle, it might not be an issue, but in Vietnam, it is really an issue if a couple stay together without marriage ceremony even they have legal marriage certificate. They, especially the female, will be judged to be immoral. But it is funny that without legal marriage certificate but a wedding is organized with the presence of the community, and then the couple can be recognized as a legal couple. They will not be protected by the legal system but be accepted by the community, which is sometimes more important than anything else.

Ancestor Worship

Ancestor worship is a solemn and essential ritual for each family of Vietnamese. This ritual reflects the respect and gratitude of the descendants to their ancestors. In each family, there is an altar which is often situated at the most solemn and highest position in the house. For Vietnamese, the deaths live in another world which is invisible. That’s why in each worship day, people put fruits, foods, flowers in front of the altar to express their respect and memory to the deaths. Each family has certain dates of worship, usually the death anniversary dates of the death people in each family; however, every Vietnamese family has common days for worship such as the first day of the lunar month, the full-moon day of each lunar month and especially the Tet Holiday. In the Tet Holiday, each family will prepare a meal including cooked rice, a boiled chicken, and various kinds of food. Then these foods are put in a small tray and put in front of the ancestor altar. The host of the family (usually the man) will perform a solemn ritual in order to show the respect to the death and pray for health, luck, happiness and wealth in coming year. After that, the whole family will gather together to have a cozy year end party. If you are invited to such a party, don’t ever refuse and remember to bring with you some lucky money for the children and the old ones since that would be a good chance for you to get to know more about Vietnamese and their lifestyle.

At the family level, the eldest son will be responsible for keep the family name going on and it is him who will be spiritually accepted to be responsible for his ancestor and parent worship when they pass away. Therefore, the big role does not only falls on the man’s shoulder but on his wife’s shoulder as well. The man will play as a lead of the family and facilitate all things related to the worship, his wife is not only responsible for give a birth of at least one son but implement all things related to the worship assigned by her husband.

The ancestor worship ritual is not only expressed in each family, but also expressed in the community. At village level, it is expressed more clearly in the rural areas of Vietnam where each village has a communal house which worship specific god of each village (Thành Hoàng). Thành Hoàng is the person who protects the village. Each village has to worship a Thành Hoàng God in order to wish for luck, wealth and happiness and also to show their respect to the person who has been protecting them.

At national level, Vietnamese people worship Hung King, the first King of Vietnam. March 10^th of lunar year is the anniversary date when people from various provinces gather at Hung Temple in Phong Chau, Phu Tho province – a Northern mountainous area of Vietnam to join in the anniversary. Besides, Viet people also worship the four immortalities include Tan Vien, Thanh Giong, Chu Dong Tu and Lieu Hanh. For Vietnamese, each of them represents a specific desire of human being. Tan Vien (or Son Tinh) represents the desire for overcoming natural calamities like flooding, Thanh Giong represents the anti-invasion spirit, Chu Dong Tu represents a wealthy life, and Lieu Hanh represents a spiritually happy life.

Vietnam is not the only country which has the ritual for ancestor worship; however, the ritual of Vietnam is surely different from that of other countries in the same region and in other countries in the world. If you have visited many countries with many kinds of customs, Vietnam will likely to be different and surprise you.

Funeral Ceremony

As a human being, the death is inevitable. For Vietnamese, funeral ceremony is considered an important event. When a member in the family passes away, people carry out a solemn funeral ceremony. The relatives and friends come to share the sadness with the members in that family. If you are to come to a funeral ceremony, bring some flowers or fruits to the ceremony. Another tip for you is that when you accidentally meet a funeral on the street, it is advisable for you to give way to it and take off your hat to show the respect. Normally, Vietnam has common rites for funeral; however, in several ethnic groups, there are special features. In Muong people’s funeral, you can clearly identify whether the death is his father or mother by looking at the stick that he use. If he uses a bamboo stick, the death is his father, and if it is a wood stick, then the death is his mother. For some ethnic groups in Tay Nguyen, after the funeral, people set up a rudimentary hutch for the death. Then, one or three years later, people will set up a new one, which is more spacious and stable. People bring here wine, meat, fish and other dishes, then the relatives of the death and the neighbors will stay there several days eating, dancing to say goodbye forever to the death. After that, they will no longer have to be responsible for the death person. It must be surprised to know that but it has become the habit of the whole group. It is obvious that the funeral ceremony of Vietnam is quite different from that of Western countries since it contains traditional values of the natives. As a foreign tourist, you should be aware of such rituals in order to avoid culture shock while staying in Vietnam.